it’s not easy being green

To quote Kermit (the frog).

It's not easy being green
It seems you blend in with so many other ordinary things
And people tend to pass you over 'cause you're
Not standing out like flashy sparkles in the water
Or stars in the sky

Being new to anything scares the bejebus out of me. I get a knot in the pit of my stomach, sweaty palms and a feeling of foreboding doom (ok, maybe it’s not THAT extreme, but I find it somewhat uncomfortable).

Moving to a new city has its challenges for someone that finds it hard (in the beginning) to open up and get to know new people. I’m not a flashy character with an exuberant personality that can just bounce in and go “Hey! Yo! I’m Awesome! You’re going to totally love me!”… no, I’m someone that kind of blends in to the background, surveying my new surroundings before I start to feel comfortable.

I think this feeling of awkwardness has set me back a little with moving forward in my roller derby journey. I should have been hassling leagues the moment I got here. Skating with new girls and a new league would open me up to meeting new like-minded people and would give me the confidence to be myself again.

When I first started fresh meat in my old league, I knew no one. It was daunting! I hadn’t tried anything new in years, let alone meeting a whole league worth of new people. It did take a while for me to start forming relationships with the other fresh meat girls, but once you find out they are just like you, falling in love with this new world of derby it was like a light-blub moment and everything relaxes.

I’m just nervous. Skating with a new league, I’ll be the new girl again! Starting all over. All eyes on me, assessing my skills, judging my ability. Gah! I’m getting that ill feeling again.

But green's the color of Spring
And green can be cool and friendly-like
And green can be big like an ocean, or important
Like a mountain, or tall like a tree

But I can be cool and friendly-like! I just have to take that leap. Once I finally get things organised and take that first step, I know it will be fine. It’s just braving that first moment when everything is new again.